FOUR weeks out

~*Its the final countdown* ~

Ali and I are tanned up, I've got my nails on and after training today we're heading to Lindy's to stay for our photoshoot with Dallas in the morning. Its going to be great to have some shots with all the beauty stuff taken care of, rather than me in my lorna jane, dirty face and hair! I truly understand now that behind what we all admire in magazines is 99% unglamorous hard work!

Could time slow down a little for me please, I can't keep up! Its funny actually- half of me is wishing away the next three weeks of work while the other is wanting time to stand still so I can get myself together! I definitely felt the shift in terms of brainpower over the last two weeks, I am only doing slightly more cardio (making days longer) however this does not account for how rushed I feel cos I guess my poor little brain just can't keep up! 

This week was an exercise of time management skills- worked 5 days, Trained 5 days, cardio every day, had two spray tan appts post workout Wed and Fri nights, Thurs night we had off gym and I managed to prep 12 meals, do a second cardio session and dye my hair- proud!

I had a good training session last night- shoulders, biceps and calves and followed it up with some cardio while chatting with another competitor who is taking a plunge from competing in physique to IFBB Figure. Its great to be able to chat the cardio minutes away about all things Figure, have a bit of a vent etc! We immediately swapped annoyed looks toward the woman on my other side who was coughing profusely and sounded as though she should be home in bed! I'm a little more understanding of sick people on public transport who may not be able to get the day of work but please don't cough all over me at this late stage- the thought of getting sick is ... well I've made it this far! (staying positive). Im sure it has something to do with the garlic I eat at probably every meal, I would say this is the first year I can remember getting through winter without even a sore throat! A couple of times I felt a tickle, I beat it down with good old olive leaf extract.

I've switched from worrying about being swamped in novice class at the ANB to hoping there is a good turnout, given that everyone seems to be doing the INBA the week prior, what with the Natural Olympia and all. To all those a week ahead of me right now, I hope you are right on track, pumped and excited and I look forward to cheering you on soon!!! 

Inspiration

I sincerely want to thank everyone who has taken the time to leave a comment on my blog here or on lindy’s website so far. A couple of people have even said recently that I am ‘inspiring’ or that reading a certain post was inspirational as they could relate to it in a certain way. This makes me feel great and I’m so happy that I could have that impact just by sharing my experiences, and I’m still 4 weeks away from my first comp!

When you go on a journey that really tests you physically mentally and emotionally all at the same time, it breaks you down but makes you stronger and really makes you want to share with others what you have learnt along the way.

I’ve mentioned that I previously worked as a personal weight loss consultant, at a time when honestly, I was not confident nor successful in managing my own weight. Despite this, I was a very successful consultant in an industry about numbers and statistics- I managed to top the list as seeing more clients per hour (ie they kept booking in to see me) than any other consultant in the state! I really enjoyed the job and wonder now, given what I have learnt, whether I would be more or less successful at it… and honestly, I’m not sure….Because I would define ‘success’ very differently to the company!

A weight loss company’s various measures of success all come down to the bottom line- $. All of our statistics were in relation to clients per hour, sales figures in relation to memberships and products. Did we measure how many clients hit their ‘goal weight’, completed the maintenance course and didn’t return to us back at square one…. Of course not! I was even dubbed a ‘specialist’ in counselling clients who were returning to the program (often many times over the years). This saddens me now, because as much as I tried to ‘empower’ people to learn to manage their own weight, this was a rare victory indeed.

Having said that, it was never about me. I was only one piece of that person’s weight loss puzzle. One of the biggest things I have learnt is that you can be as well supported and motivated by others as you like but you must find also your own ‘intrinsic’ motivation in order to be consistent, patient, driven and dare I say stubborn enough to stay the course. It helps you recognise that if you stray from plan too often, muddle around with half effort etc the world doesn’t end, it doesn’t matter to anyone else (might actually make them happier) but you are just cheating yourself. I’ve learnt that excuses and justifications for eating poorly and skipping workouts are just a state of denial. Feeling flat and need a ‘refeed’? No sorry, having gone ‘cheat meal’ free now for almost 7 weeks has forced me to learn that I won’t die or go crazy without certain foods and to admit that when I do re-introduce these meals, they are purely for taste… which is a great reason to eat, on occasion!

Be patient with yourself- eg it has seriously taken me well over a year to slowly and literally wean myself off ‘needing’ tomato sauce on certain things and having milk in coffees.. reduce these extras gradually, I could not have gone from dousing sauce on everything and drinking cappuccinos to not having a drop of either! Long blacks are my comp prep saviour!

Have you ever thought to yourself, ‘how easy would it be to lose weight if I had someone cooking all my meals for me and a personal trainer’, etc etc? Sounds pretty sweet however, without intrinsic motivation then you might just end up with more time to try not think about food… Instead, learn to derive satisfaction from the hard ‘unglamorous’ work that goes on behind the scenes, rather than feeling restricted or deprived. You wanted this, right? When on a true 'lifestyle change' rather than diet you shouldn't feel overly restricted at any point (other than say 4-6 weeks out from a comp) anyway and as i said, making changes very gradual eases the pain ;)
My journey started when I accepted that I would never have enough information to satisfy me and there would never be a ‘perfect stress-free time’ to concentrate on a goal. I started learning by doing, making mistakes and hanging on for dear life xx

Reality Check

There was a great post (as usual) from the aussie motivational speaker- Craig Harper’s yesterday that inspired me to share... Its about choices and is titled ‘Fat by another name’ and begins with a funny story about overhearing a mother describe her son as ‘powerfully built’ when in truth he was, well.. fat.

 

He writes: ‘There ain’t too many powerfully built five-year-olds. Unless of course your five-year-old happens to be a Pit Bull Terrier. Let’s be clear, the ‘Rock’ is powerfully built. A Hummer is powerfully built. Shaq is powerfully built. A Harley is powerfully built but telling yourself (and others) that your obese child is powerfully built is like calling a donut a high-performance food because it has plenty of calories in it. It just ain’t true.

 

I’ve read statistics on parents presenting their children to GPs that show that parents are less likely to be aware of apparent or potential issues regarding their child’s weight if said child is a boy. That’s where we often see politically correct euphemisms such as ‘powerful’, ‘stocky’ etc. I had a couple of my own, growing up from my loving parents- my dad called me ‘solid’ or ‘his little front row forward’ while mum would describe me as ‘shapely’. (lol!) Now of course I don’t think the right approach is to start calling your children ‘fat’ either BUT I digress (Ive previously posted about leading by example but don’t have kids yet so overall unqualified to comment) :P

 

I do know that kids aren’t silly- I didn’t really buy into the subtlety or otherwise of my parents’ weight related comments at the time however, upon reflection I’m pretty sure that what they did do was to help me justify my weight. I thought yes,  I might be slightly bigger than my friends but that’s the way I am built and apparently there’s nothing I could do about it! I even started labelling my friends as ‘just skinny’… eh.. all of them! I ate healthfully overall but it didn’t occur to me that eating supersized portions and coming home from school and gorging on whatever was in the fridge was perhaps a little excessive and could easily be modified …

 

When I started dieting in late teenage years I excused away my failed efforts with the same ‘genetics’ argument and that poor me, I must have a shit metabolism. Little did I know at the time that I’m actually quite fine boned and as for my metabolism, I was doing a great job of wrecking an otherwise fine one! And there I would go from one extreme to the other- eating whatever, whenever I wanted or following an extremely strict diet. I did not recognise the many shades of grey imbetween of gradual changes I could have easily made through the many food choices each day.

 

I do concede that some people (including me perhaps) are genetically predisposed to gain weight and fat easier than others. But am I going to let that stop me? It still comes down to ‘genetic management’, what we do with what we’ve got. This is a hard pill to swallow in practice. If I choose to be negative and whine, I resent the fact that I can’t eat whatever I want, despite the level of exercise I do- not if I want to be lean! Failed ‘dieting’ attempts only served to reinforce my belief that there was no point trying either- why would anyone continue to restrict themselves and be miserable for mediocre and temporary results?

 

Craig says that the answer to our current obesity epidemic (and I would add contrast of increasing numbers of eating disorders) is simply for ‘you and I to make different choices. Consistently. And yes, some people will suggest that I am over-simplifying a complex issue (it’s often in their financial interest to do so) and to those folk I would reply, have you ever considered that perhaps you are complicating a relatively simple issue?’

 

CHOICES! We make heaps of them everyday and are personally responsible for and in control of every single one that may or may not get us a step closer to our goals. Craig’s post today says that: ‘For some people everything is hard. No matter how good life is. Hard is built, maintained and empowered by them. I’ve seen some people deal with cancer more easily and with less drama than other people deal with a sprained ankle or a common cold. Why? Because certain people create easy while others create hard, that’s why’.

 

I choose to:

 

·         Stop beating myself up for my past issues with food and approach each new goal with self confidence and a positive attitude- don’t make things harder than they have to be by overthinking/analysing

·         make time to cook every night and prepare healthy meals in advance on the weekend- make every effort to support sticking to the plan overall

·         eat foods that match my health and figure goals even when I’d rather eat something ‘yummier’ or more convenient (notice how almost all ‘convenient’ or quick foods tend to be fast acting carbs?)

·         politely refuse offers of food from others/’free’ food without fear of seeming rude, being different or ‘missing out’  

·         eat ‘off plan’ free from guilt at a frequency that matches my current goals (ie not for the time being!)

·         occasionally indulge my huge appetite with ‘cheat meals’ purely for taste and satiety, without guilt or being emotionally driven

·         lift weights because I enjoy it, it gives  my body the shape I want (muscular and feminine) and increases my metabolism

·         do cardio because it helps me stay leaner and the body is designed to move

·         prioritise my health and needs through my choice of lifestyle and not feel guilty, vain or selfish for doing so

·         basically, ‘own’ my choices and be personally accountable for my health, and

·         DEFY MY ‘GENETICS’!!!!!!!

 

5 wks out

Quick one- feeling good overall. Have had a really positive mindset all week but then 2 'episodes' involving high anxiety/panic... usually when tired AND hungry. Its funny, nothing really worrying me at the time- purely physical reaction! I just concentrate on slowing down my breathing, get some water in and am fine again within minutes.

Have definately entered the fuzzy brain zone and work is an increasing struggle but we have our last week of prep off work, so only 4 more weeks of that! Im very lucky to have the kind of job where I can eat my meals etc and work fairly flexible to be able to see coach weekly.

Had a great chest/shoulders training session yesterday. Used the 'pro spot' for my bench press and smashed out at reps at the max weight I have used to date- so on a good day my strength is still really good. Im even adapting to the longer cardio sessions, once you accept that you're going to be on the treadmill for a while you can just settle in with your choice of distracting material and the time often goes quite quickly! Magazines seem to work really well ;) 

Photo session is next weekend and we have our spray tanS booked in for Wed and Friday night- will be my first time in the paper g-string- LOL! Ali's mum is kindly doing my makeup which is great as we all know how expensive this game is! We can't wait to start spending our money on things other than supplements etc! Not buying any food out really shows you what a waste of $ that is though, esp when you can get a whole bag of tomatoes/zucchini for $2! We have just been buying quite a lot of long blacks to get us through- Gloria Jeans is our fave!

Off to see 'Inglourious Basterds' now and they'll be celery crunching in the cinemas, lol! used to worry about this but really, its not that much noisier than popcorn .. and who really cares anyway ;)

Have a great Sunday! 

Afraid to be fat (again)

Today’s post is inspired by the media!

Its splashed across the current issue of the Australian New Idea featuring a story about Magda Szubanski and no doubt you’ve heard about the Federal Government’s “crackdown” on weight loss industry in relation to ensuring they also help clients maintain their weight loss. 

In my experience as a consultant in the weight loss industry some companies have by now been clever enough to hit the ‘maintenance’ angle. However, just quietly this conveniently sells more programs, keeps people on the program longer and therefore sells more products. 

I am becoming more and more aware of the need to address physiological issues behind successful weight management, in order to truly get off the dieting bandwagon and as dumb as it sounds, not be afraid of food! For me to overcome this I have had to build my self –confidence by demonstrating to myself that not only could I lose weight (despite my prior insistence of poor genetics/metabolism/luck) but could keep it off.

Dr Phil says that past behaviour is a good predictor for future behaviour, with which I agree. However, its too easy to let past attempts and perceived failure (yo yo dieting) hold you back from trying. And when I say ‘trying’ I actually mean ‘doing’:

“Do or do not- there is no try” – Yoda. 

Some people prefer to ‘try’ to eat well, exercise and lose weight for fear of failure/embarrassment if they fail. Some people will be on and off diets their whole lives. The thought of struggling with body image, emotional eating etc throughout adulthood and motherhood really bugged me, I wanted to conquer these beasts once and for all! 

Deciding to compete in my first figure comp at first seemed a little illogical as I was told that, “if girls don’t already have an eating disorder they will post comp”. And here I was approaching it the other way around. I also read a lot about the dreaded post comp rebound, which in my opinion seems like an extreme version of the yo yo dieting I had struggled with, and would probably be inevitable IF I were to view comp prep as ‘the ultimate DIET’!  All I knew at this point was that I was tired of working hard in the gym for an average physique and never really looking any different. So even though I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me, I accepted the challenge. 

What made the difference was deciding to commit to competing over 12 months in advance and upon numerous recommendations, hiring a brilliant coach.  I knew that with or without me, that show was happening on 26 September 2009 and in order to get to the stage I would have to commit 100%, no half assed effort would do. My coach is certainly not the kind to hold your hand and in the nicest possible way,  doesn’t have time to waste on anyone with questionable commitment. But I still had plenty of time to get used to the organisation, routines, discipline and make heaps of mistakes along the way. 

A lorna jane gym shirt I wear often and that many of you probably own, sums it up:

“Never never never give up”- Winston Churchill. 

I would like to add: But this time, give it EVERYTHING! With persistent effort and patience, you will push through past ‘barriers’ and be amazed with what you can achieve. When you give yourself enough time to lose the weight slowly, it is no longer a ‘diet’ but becomes a lifestyle. You’d be surprised with how over time, new habits can form, replacing things you previously ‘couldn’t live without’… tomato sauce I’m talking to you! :)

A... (Muscular) Beauty Pagent

This is how I would describe Figure compared to someone who has never heard of competing in Figure (only women's bodybuilding)...

My picture today is of the winner of the figure intermediate class at the inba show in May earlier this year- Bianca. I have not met her yet, but was told by Lindy what a lovely lady she is- so focussed and full of positive energy. I remember seeing her onstage and other than the obvious being her fabulous physique being so impressed with her overall presentation and stage presence. She looked so beautiful and really stood out. A big factor for us girls to prepare for that has been in my mind ever since!

I got excited this morning when Ali reminded me that our photoshoot with Dallas Olsen is now just 10 DAYS AWAY!!! I will finally get my beautiful new swimsuit off layby; get this- I have been going to Sunburn periodically (ok, twice) to 'visit it' (lol!) i mean try it on to make sure it still fits! I chose the size based on the fact that when I tried it on, I was at a bodyfat level that i hope to maintain post comp into Summer to get lots of wear out of it but was worried that come 4wks pre-comp it might be a lil.. saggy. haha. so far, so good!

That reminds me of how when I first started thinking about competing early last year, I visited Jo Rogers site and wondered HOW she knew what size to make girls' suits? I sent her an email like 12 mths in advance about my suit, telling her my height and approx comp weight and asked that very question. Her reply:

If you come into your show in great condition then the size you are and
the size of the next girl really isn't that great a difference - there maybe
slight differences but ultimately the height is the main governing factor -
and thank goodness for lycra - it is a very forgiving fabric - lol

And now I understand! Im really glad I was able to see Jo for a personal fitting because she worked out individual needs for the cut of my suit based on my length of torso etc. I have these wide hips that start really high as well so you have to get creative to manage that- lol! But overall, WE are conditioning our bodies to fit the suits rather than the other way around- you MUST be in great shape to look good in a figure suit and you'd better have a lean ass to pull of the pro cut pants. How's that for motivation!

I can't wait to see my finished suit... I will most likely cry when I open it ;) Tara received hers recently- what a beauty, thanks for posting a pic for us!

So yes, not too much going on other than counting down really! Ali and I are having the week prior to comp off work which I cannot wait for! on track and its just a case of ticking all the boxes every day and keeping up with it all - SLEEP is a huge priority to achieve this. Thinking about it, im quite proud of our commitment to this process, it has been thanks to pure stubbornness at times! Sure, I wish everyday I had more muscle mass, thicker back, better abs, shorter limbs, narrow hips etc etc! But there will be NO REGRETS on the day :)

Ps. Girls with muscles are HOT!!! 

6 weeks out

*insert scary music*.... lol

I have heard about the last 4-6 weeks of prep as being the part where (if you haven't already) you might start asking yourself 'just why the hell am I doing this, again?' The plan is definately stepped up around this time, more cardio, less carbs means that if you don't tread carefully and get overtired you might be in some trouble! I'm having little more trouble coping and keeping up with the most recent changes, noticeable in lack of recovery from weights sessions and memory/concentration suffering.

However, although I might have a 'hard' day every now and then I am doing my best to stay positive, forget what I've heard to expect and just RUN MY OWN RACE. Stef Williams gave us some really great advice a while ago that if you tell yourself you're tired, hungry etc then you will be! Why reinforce those feelings?

Ali and I had a great session with Jo this morning working on our routines. For some reason, the routine and posing have been my biggest worries! (not worried about getting lean in time, leave that up to coach! lol) So now its just a case of practice, practice practice!

I have to run and cook now (sigh!) but will update with more asap!

First HIIT session.. phew!

As the title indicates, I've had a little switch up in terms of my weekly cardio in an effort to keep things moving! Now doing a couple of high intensity sessions in amongst the long and slow stuff. Nutrition around this cardio is different as well of course, to ensure Im burning fat and preserving muscle. My coach Jon explains all of this really well in his article in the current Oxygen mag (Eat to Compete- Part 2) so if you're wondering about what sort of cardio is best for fat burning, the answer is it depends what you're eating- worth a read!!

I was really nervous about doing it! which sounds strange but I have a heightened sense of anxiety about most things at the moment, thats just comp prep! But now that the first session is done and I survived, I feel much better :) was good actually to get red faced and sweaty, get the blood pumping and as you all know- you feel amazing afterward, really energised!

Unfortunately I couldn't get to any classes and I've never been a runner so I had to get .. creative in kicking my own butt! I had a general plan, walk fast/jog/run intervals on our treadmill, mixed up with some of my old high intensity cardio DVDs- Billy Blanks Tae Bo this morn! Switching it up helped me ward off boredom and keep up the pace. I also had a skipping rope outside and ran out there a couple of times for some fresh air- big calorie burner apparently. So the hardest part really was constantly thinking about what I was doing, what I would do next and hoping I could keep it up for the duration! But I think next time I'll have a structured plan in place so it should go smoother.

Im a born planner! First time I met Coach he said- Plan the work, work the plan!

24hr training

2 posts in one day- thats a first for me!! 

Ali and I usually work at at CBJ at MacGregor which is such a good gym that we decided to stay with them when we moved about 30mins drive away.

However, in the last 8 weeks of comp prep we were looking for something a little more convenient SO just to add to the expenses that are competing, we now have a second gym membership at our local 24 hour gym (Temple).

Its small but has good quality equipment. Not as much variety of course but more than adequate for smaller body parts in particular. The machine in the pic behind me is a 'pro spot' which is pretty cool! you can do squats, bench, rows anything and go as heavy as you like and simply rotate the bar to kick in your 'spot' when you reach failure- nice!

So we've just gotten home; I trained chest and triceps and did some abs imbetween sets. I think these are lagging a bit unfortunately, shame when they all the hallmark of being fit and lean! I'm pretty pleased with the progress I've made with most other body parts though. Since being motivated by Ali to start weight training a couple of years ago I adopted his bb style and worked the majors- back, legs, chest and arms as heavy as I could.  In the last 12 months I learnt more and have worked to prioritise my shoulders, hammies and glutes. Leaning out for the first time ever has been a bit of a shock, ie bones and ribs emerging through a lack of muscle density and thickness but its a starting point. Ive built a foundation, love my training and intend to keep it up for years to come :)

7 weeks out

Hi all, 

Got a interesting mixed response to my brekkie creation :)  I think its definately the slow and gradual changes in my diet that make this seem ok to me! ie first getting used to plain oats on water, then getting used to mixing the egg whites in and now going the whole hog and putting my vege in there too! cauli really has no taste but did i mention there is a LOT of cinnamon going on in there! Hanni, my fellow addict- I've read that its really good for u, hehe! Selina is totally right- you have to get a little creative for taste during comp prep!

You'll have to give me more details re the pizza base idea Dori, sounds good to me! if I had a base, I could go to town with all my favourite pizzary toppings- tomato paste, chicken/turkey, mushrooms, oregano, spinach, red yellow AND green capsicum yummo. 

Jadey asked how much time I have in the mornings to prepare breakfast. Answer- very little! I prep EVERYTHING in bulk and in advance. Meaning there is a sizable tupperware container of mashed cauliflower in my fridge right now ready to go ;) I do spend some time doing this on weekend etc though cos I like to make sure I enjoy my meals.

Again, this week has gone super fast for me and overall I'm happy to report I'm cruising. Every now and then if I let myself get too tired I get a bit over-emotional but I'm doing well at staying calm and positive most of the time. I even wound down with a candlelit bath the other night AND tried some yoga (ok, 5 min Youtube videos- its a start when you need QUICK ideas to de-stress!) No real food cravings going on which amazes me. A while ago I would think about some of the things Im going to have once the diet is over (yes, Sizzler springs to mind) but what I am looking forward to more now (than specific food items/restaurants) is just the option of dining out, flexibility etc and simply being able to relax a little around meals rather than having to be strategic about making sure I get them all in, spaced out correctly, balanced with not letting myself get hungry.. you know!? Cos hunger is really the only thing Im afraid of now, in terms of dieting.. not boring food, not 'deprivation' of junk etc.

In other news, Ali and I recently joined up at our local 24 hour gym (yep two gym memberships- hardcore!) and its small but has good quality equipment. I like being able to get in, move around quickly without having to wait for things etc and be done! Im sure its got a lot to do with my weight going down but Im smashing out unassisted chins with ease now and have even mastered a few widegrip pullups. so much fun! 

Going to finish this post with a little plug for our fave Oxygen mag and brag too- if you haven't got this month's issue yet, Ali has been busy editing and writing articles and is a contributer this month :) As is the lovely Michelle Koen- food genius who has already shared her talent for some time on Lindy's forum. The mag is actively promoting Aussie talent which is so great to see.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Bleghhh or brilliant brekkie idea?

7 weeks, 3 days out but whose counting? ;)

Just wanted to post an idea I had recently which might be useful to people who want to either bump up their vegie intake (particularly at the tricky breakfast meal) and/or want to bulk up their brekkie oats if your portion is measly!

For ages, I'd been baking eggs (some whole, rest whites) with my mixed vegies and cutting this into individual portions which works a treat. However, this week I decided to try something different and to cover all the bases I've been eating:

 a whole egg boiled, separately- really enjoying being able to taste the yolk

mixing my whites in with my oats on the stovetop- pour in and mix fast so there's no chunks; and

boiling up and mashing cauliflower and adding this to the oats for my vegie portion! I couldn't mash it well enough to really get out the chunks but I don't really mind it..

For flavour, I add heaps of cinnamon, dash of nutmeg and splenda to taste. 

I also use a fair bit of water so by the time I'm done, 30g of oats goes a long way! :)

So tell me, bleghh or brilliant? (try it first!)

8 weeks out

and again, not too much to report! ahh how boring. Only had a small drop in skins this week and now that we are at the 8 week out mark i need at least a certain amount each week to lean down in time. Having a coach though, I'm not worried about this at all. All I have to worry about is getting through what he deals out! lol. my cardio jumped up quite a bit this week so Im kinda hoping the weeks keep flying by like they have been and Im looking forward to warmer weather and earlier sunrises.

Had some fairly dramatic mood swings this week! I'm pretty good now at just letting a bad mood pass by because I know I'll be positive again before long! Last night I felt so negative about the whole thing I just ate dinner and put myself to bed. Tomorrow is always a new day :) Tuesday this week will see my longest run thus far with no cheat meal (over 16 days) so I'm looking forward to climbing over that hill and coming out the other side. Prep has been like that for me- tackling one or two small changes or habits at a time which seem difficult at first but then with some practice your confidence increases and whatever it is just becomes part of your routine. I read a PN article recently about this very topic. The more you try to overhaul your diet/lifestyle all at once, the less likely you are to succeed (at keeping it up). Simple isn't it, but makes perfect sense. Patience is a virtue and unfortunately to get any kind of lasting results we have to fight through tough days where we feel like we're not getting anywhere... but we are, in the long run. No effort is ever wasted :)

There was about two minutes yesterday when I seriously contemplated getting lasagne with big fat chips for lunch. My little brain was trying all its tricks to justify it but I succeeded in just observing these thoughts and letting them pass. Although it was the first time I thought seriously about cheating (that is, when Im not allowed to) I knew I would not actually do it... all very new to me, feels great! because i just know its not worth it, the guilt would be incredible (still working on that part!) and I literally wouldn't have even enjoyed eating it. My last authorised cheat meal at Sizzlers however (see previous post) was awesome and I enjoyed every bite, those memories will just have to last a little while! Sounds like I'm a little obsessed with food hey? Yeah.. oh well!

Just completed first week of new training split which I borrowed from Vic, it was great! I had really been needing to prioritise abs a bit more.