Saturday, July 11, 2009

11 weeks out and Moving on!

I was going to post in detail about part 2 of my dramas but will summarise instead-  To cut a long story short, my mum left my Dad, sister and I when I was 14 because by then I was 'old enough' to look after myself; she lives in Melbourne. She sends me text messages but I haven't seen her face in about three years. As a teenager I didn't think I needed her, of course! But the last few years I've been struggling with the impact that this has really had and that you don't stop needing a mum once you turn a certain age. As an adult, I've sought a relationship with her but unfortunately she has too many issues of her own to be a mother.

So now I'm moving on! 

For those of you who haven't competed before (like me) and are thinking about it, let me tell you that you are in for one emotional ride! All of us are 'emotional eaters' to some degree and dieting for an extended period means that you simply cannot turn to your usual comfort foods when stressed, bored, happy, angry, anything! It doesn't sound difficult (just saying no to foods) and most of the time it isn't- I'm lucky in a sense that I'm not really getting cravings nor envious of what other people around me are eating.  Its only those moments when something pushes your buttons and you get upset or any emotion arises- you realise that it has been your habit your whole life to reach for something to eat.

So the solution is that you must be proactive in managing stress and other emotions, there's no way around it! I love Churchill's quote- "when you're going through hell, keep going". 

Great news is I'm 11 weeks out today, on track and the posing is slowly improving, although I must constantly be reminded to suck in my tummy! (see pic! lol). We saw Jo again last Sunday and I got fitted for my suit which I'm so excited about! Ali took a couple of photos of me in the standard black suit with Jo making her adjustments which are hilarious but I'd better not post those! :) I got to see JUST HOW SMALL those procut pants are hehehehe. I also chose a couple of pieces of jewellery, these are on my nightstand for motivation.

Enough about me, the girls will be all made up already for the All Female Classic today, I soo wish I was there to cheer them on :) Best of luck to all of you- Jeh, Rae, Jadey, Casey- sorry that's all I can remember right now! All of us will be eagerly awaiting pics



TiarnaH said...

Hi babe,

I soooo get what it feels like with the situation with your mum. My mum well, she's hopeless. But if I can give you one word of advice.

It will intensify that feeling of abandonment or whatever you are feeling when you have your own children, so be aware of this. Be prepared to get help with it if you need.... with my own two children the biggest thing that i had trouble with was, "what was is wrong with me?" I love my kids so much and I cant be away from them for long without missing them teriibly, so why did my own mother treat me like that??

But I can say, you WILL get through it if everyday you remind yourself of all the wonderful things you do have and are. Not to mention all the things you are yet to experience.

Its not easy, but that is just what life is about. You will find when and if you have kids that history WILL NOT repeat itself and you will be a better mum beacuse of this experience.

wow... that was deap, hope your having a good weekend babe. Stay on the bright side :)

Raechelle said...

Too bad about your mum issues....but you're strong enough to move through it.

Saw some of your pics on facebook-coming along nicely....I'm sure with the support of your coach you will be able to triumph over those food issues.
Keep up the good work!

Kek said...

You're looking GREAT, Steph. And lucky you, having Jo to coach you with your posing...

Can't wait to see the final result, I'm sure you're going to be stunning on the day.

Nerd Girl said...

i can completely relate to you about your feelings towards your mother. I still talk to my mom, but she has been an alcoholic for years. I have been without a true "mother" since the age of about 15. Her own issues with alcohol have changed her into a new person, and i find that when im with her, I end up mothering her. She just can't take care of herself and it is really sad. Sometimes I feel better when I go weeks without seeing her, but not having a mother is very hard for a girl. Everyone wants a mom.

Back to comp stuff! Lol, are you training for bodybuilding or figure?

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