SEVEN days

Firstly thanks heaps to the lovely ladies that commented on my last post, you all said that you knew exactly how I felt and that is good to know! Honestly, just knowing that you're not alone and what you're experiencing is normal (and you're not nuts) helps you move past an 'episode' and get on with things, even when you know that it might happen again tomorrow.. let's hope not though! haha.

Today, I feel great! Had my mini reflexology massage (30mins) which was a well overdue measure to release the tension that had built up in my neck and traps. Who else here hunches at a computer all day before toddling off to training? Also got a great haircut and eyebrow wax, so feeling like a thousand dollars... haha! A tan might get me another step closer to a million!

Ali and I saw our coach Jon this morning, we are 12 weeks out this saturday from the ANB State Titles. I see a lot of posts currently about the 'business' end of prep, how exciting. I hope you all are still smashing your workouts while you can and sticking to your plans like glue. I had another good drop this week (made my target), I will post a photo at the end of the week to mark the 12 week out countdown!

As I mentioned, I've had my weekly 'cheat meals' reduced now. So finally getting to the title of today's post last week in my little food diary was the first seven days I have gone through without a cheat meal, a 'slip', a substitution on the plan or .. a binge! Looking back now, I have not succumbed to binging behaviour (mega emotional eating) since February, I have felt fantastic about my relationship with food ever since I managed to slay that dragon. So I feel like I've accomplished something more now by getting over the 'seven day hump' without "needing" a refeed. Wow, I didn't explode or die or anything! haha. I can see how it would get easier and easier over time.

I certianly take all of these food lessons of mine very seriously as it is obviously going to take a while to 'unlearn' years of bad habits and abusing my body.

I am hoping that when I do get my next cheat meal at the end of this week, I will conquer my next lesson- consistently feeling in control of these refeeds. I think the reduced frequency might actually help me in appreciating the food more, savouring it etc and perhaps also a reduced tolerance for overeating and fatty/sugary foods.

Minor Meltdown

Those who know me know that I am .. quite an emotional person. (I call it SOFT!!) Can't help it, I also tend to bottle things in for too long which can result in bouts of minor depression, anxiety etc.

Had a little meltdown yesterday. And feel much better for it! So I just wanted to tell anyone reading who is like me, holding it all in, feeling sorry for yourself etc to just let it out and do something about it!

Mine was also a result of waiting tooo long to eat and needing carbs post training!! about 12 weeks out at the moment so the diet is getting stricter as we progress and baby, I need to eat every two hours! So thankful for my job, I carry around my tupperware everywhere, into meetings, training courses whatever and people are used to it by now :) So yesterday, it had already been too long a gap before training, then on the way home we stopped to return some overdue DVDs at our local store. The poor young man who served me was still learning how to use the computer and (accidentally) was trying to majorly rip me off with late fees (more than i actually  owed). I wouldn't have bothered if it were only a few bucks but had to labour the point and wait for him to be able to sort it out. I started to feel flushed and dizzy, you know that feeling? Then as I started to get a little impatient and frustrated with him, my physical symptoms got worse and so on.

Made it to the car when the personal issues that were under the surface bubbled over and I started to hyperventilate... panic attack. Then the tears came.

So this would all sound CRAZY to someone a little more capable in managing their emotions and not letting them stew, but combine that with a first time competitor who needs to eat and we have one upset little girl! 

As I said, good news is as a result i feel much better, booked myself in for a massage today and I can't wait! Now that my treat meals are becoming few and far between I will be looking for more non food ideas to keep myself amused. Funny how much food preoccupies our lives.. :)

Lessons about getting shredded

Im in a bit of a transition phase with my dieting at the moment i think. Im lean, Im under my maintenance bodyfat level and all my clothes are baggy but there is still a while to go before I get really shredded!

Just read an interesting article about someone who was already lean but wanted to get single digit body fat. He summarised some of the lessons learnt, Ive picked my faves to post:

Lesson #4: Food Is Only Fuel & All Eating Is EmotionalFundamentally, food is fuel. The only other reasons we eat is for socializing and for emotional reasons. This probably ruffles feathers, but I am basically saying that all eating is emotional, especially overeating and unhealthy eating.
It is also nearly impossible to divorce the emotional aspect from eating and make it simply a re-fueling process. If it was, we’d all eat nutritionally perfect gruel and be perfectly happy with it. Getting to an elite level of body comp and staying there requires wrapping your head around the FACT that the reason you reach for the bag of Doritos, or the cheesecake, or the Aero bar is emotional eating.

Lesson #5: Eating Will Always Be Emotional… Learn To Use ThatI don’t think we ever completely get past the emotional aspects of eating. But the people who are most successful at attaining elite body comp are the ones who get past it, and learn to look at food purely as fuel.
Decadent foods like pizza or ice cream become special occasions, kind of like the rest of the world might treat an expensive bottle of champagne. They are things to be savored and enjoyed rarely, not as a staple.

Think about this: a person who indulges in booze every day is called an alcoholic. Someone who indulges in junk food every day is called… your average North American.

Lesson #6: Fat Loss Is Easy, It’s Your Brain That’s Getting In The WayThis will pi$$ a lot of people off, but fat loss is actually pretty easy. It’s way, WAY easier than muscle gain. It’s not always pleasant, it’s pretty much always socially uncomfortable, and it forces you to go against the grain of your friends, coworkers and family. But when we break it down to a pure physiological process, fat loss is easy.
It’s all the mental stuff tied up in eating that make it pretty much impossible for most of the world. It’s the emotions around eating, the addiction to the taste and the feeling of food, the bonding that comes from sharing food with others, and the sense of belonging that comes from “going with the flow”. Most people fail not because they don’t have the right diet plan, not because they don’t have access to the right food, and not because they don’t know or understand exactly what they need to do. All the physiological elements are in place, and they work. Most people fail because they don’t consider the psychological aspect of the diet.
Food, particularly sugar and refined carbohydrates, is addictive. The cravings can be emotionally crippling. Hunger is a feeling completely foreign to westerners and we can’t handle it; it breaks us as brutally as being physically beaten.
There’s also the profound sense of alienation that comes from doing something “different”. Once food and shelter are taken care of, our number one need as human beings is to feel like we belong. When a person starts a diet they isolate themselves form the norm. And the single most social thing we do, as a species, is share food and drink. Many people will abandon a diet because it feels like they’re excluded, and for a heavy person already feeling badly about their self-image and their sense of belonging, that’s just too high a price to pay. They’d rather be obese than alone.

I’m not trying to be all haughty and holier-than-thou, let me be the first to admit I’m an emotional eater. I get a profound sense of happiness from sweets. It’s such a satisfying feeling it is (honestly and without exaggeration) practically sexual. But now I can control the psychological aspects of eating, and for long periods I can treat food purely as fuel. I feel like if any single thing allows me call myself an upper-tier gym warrior it’s that.

Lesson #7: Re-feed Days Are Great And TerribleRe-feed days are a mixed blessing. For the most part, the key is learning to stop eating when you get “satisfied”, but that is very hard to do when you’re in the throes of indulging your carb addiction. It’s like telling an alcoholic to have just 1 beer.
I found myself eating things I didn’t even want because the day was almost over, and if I didn’t eat the ice cream, or the chocolate bar, or the donuts now, I’d miss my chance for another two weeks! How stupid is that?
So be careful with re-feeds. Because they can be very helpful during something like the GSD. However, when emotions kick in, they can become difficult to control. Again, all eating is emotional!

Read the rest here

I just wrote a pretty negative post (below).

Then I read Shelley's blog who said we should use the word 'awesome' today. So Im choosing to flip my thoughts into positive and list some of the reasons why (perhaps deep down) I am feeling awesome!

I studied hard and earned a good job at a young age

I am good at my job

my job allows me to start, finish, eat, pee (hehe) whenever and however often i want or need to 

I am grateful for my job and nice home

I inspire people at work with my dedication to eating well and training

I am the leanest and in the best condition I have EVER been in (and its only going to get better)

I am doing everything my coach is asking of me

The fat will come off and I will not be too skinny to compete

My treadmill would miss me if I didn't visit it every morning :P

Thanks Shelley!

Ps i think the dates of my posts are coming up one day late.. meh

body fighting back

My last fat pinching test yielded a disappointing result unfortunately...

My plan had been cranked up a notch to get to 12 week out goal however after two weeks my weight had not changed and I only dropped 1mm. 

I can only put it down to stress (work and personal). Tried to convince jon I am not stressing about the plan, as I keep saying I have faith in doing as Im told!  So trying to keep chin up and just keep going. I know there is 'plenty of time' yet, I just would hate for things to get real difficult for me (no more free meals, more cardio earlier than expected etc) not because I messed up but due to stress. 

The whole point of leaning down prior to prep beginning was to be able to hit these body fat goals with minimal effort, maximising metabolism and maintaining muscle.

Im working from home today, just being able to do that meant I had an hour extra sleep and two and half hours less commute time!  I know how important managing stress is in this process and for overall health (its also majorly affecting my digestion) but de-stressing is not as simple as switching it off is it? My realistic stress busting ideas so far include using affirmations etc to put myself in a positive frame of mind, being efficient at work and not taking on more than what should reasonably be expected of me, stretching more... 

Breathe....

Round Two

Ran through our compulsory poses with Jo today and partly due to knowing what to expect, i have to say that I enjoyed this second session a lot more. I even managed to smile in a couple of her photos! :)

14 weeks out from the WFF today. Im actually re-thinking this comp because I was under the false impression that this was a natural federation but no, its untested and its more of a natural 'alternative' to the NABBA, ie by putting weight restrictions on the height classes. According to my height, I wouldn't be allowed to come in any heavier than 56kg to compete in WFF.. umm Im already under that (first thing in the morning!).. haha. Perhaps I will do the INBA instead, the week before the ANB State titles. Great thing about the INBA Novice class is that its purely for first timers like me. We can all stand there trying not to shake together!

Getting a lot more comfortable in my shoes which is great but really struggling to find adequate time to practice posing, that's another reason why its stressing me a little- time is flying!!! 

Congratulations Lindy!

Congratulations to the beautiful Lindy Olsen on her new role as editor of my favourite mag- Oxygen!

Got my copy in the mail today, can't wait to sit back relax and read it with a nice coffee.  I've seen already that my coach Jon Davie and Liz Nelson are contributors to this issue so Im looking forward to hearing from familiar people in the industry and seeing a lot more familiar faces!

I love skwigg.com

Have I ever mentioned that Skwigg's blog was the first I ever came across? I have been neglecting reading it lately in favour of more figure themed blogs but today's post titled, 'conditioned hyper-eating' is a beauty. It reviews a book that amongst other issues, examines how it is cuturally acceptable in places like US and here in Oz to eat whatever and whereever without it being questioned (any wonder why we so chubby!) like at our desks, in our cars etc instead of just the usual mealtimes.

My favourite thought provoker is "Why on earth do people need to EAT in a business meeting?"

I currently work for Govt in an office environment where some (less busy) people tend to get a little bored and overexcited at the thought of food and any excuse will do. Our team manager has actually formed a roster for our fortnightly team meetings designating whose responsibility it will be to provide morning tea. I kid you not. I bet everyone is really looking forward to my turn!

I am still very interested in the topic of what makes us overeat or binge eat and generally not be able to control ourselves when it comes to food but am happy to say that when I read articles (and comments to articles) such as this, it is more now out of interest than... a desperation frankly, to seek the solution!

Unforunately, it really is the case that you can't have your cake and eat it too. But the longer you persist with a lifestyle of eating clean unprocessed foods for the majority, the more the benefits far outweigh anything you are 'missing out' on.

15 weeks out

15 weeks out yesterday from my first of two planned comps :)

I only just found out that the WFF doesn't actually have a novice class so I'd be competing in open along with the other girls... meh! I'm there for the experience.