Monday, April 12, 2010

Week 12 wrap up and my 'inner fat person'

Well I finally took the plunge and weighed self and I’ve put on about 3kg since I last weighed in… I am now sitting at about 9kg over “comp weight”. Now I know that doesn’t sound like too drastic a situation - the real issue has been that I came off a diet, started gaining weight healthily but then just couldn’t stop…

As I’ve mentioned, its not so much the looks aspect but that my sense of feeling in control, disciplined and motivated had disappeared. I honestly reached such a low point mentally over the past few months that I was afraid that I COULD eventually end up obese if I didn’t drastically alter my headspace. I’m not trying to be dramatic. I think most people who have never had weight issues may look at obese people and wonder how they came to be that way/how they let themselves go that far. Physically, it’s a case of poor habits and eating excess calories over a prolonged time. Mentally, its feeling powerless to change. I know that my 4 months and few kg’s has the potential to turn into ten years and forty kg if I don’t consciously work at this.

Now that I’m thinking clearly again and am back on board the OSB train, I know that it is all up to me. I can observe negative thoughts and let them pass and if I slip it doesn't matter, I'll just keep going – how did week 12 go? It was far from perfect… which I’m actually happy about! I stuck to my plan (which is not too restrictive) four days out of seven, I had one treat meal and three healthy off plan meals. The off plan stuff was all Fri- Sunday so it felt like a nice relaxed weekend of eating. This was a test though, to my all or nothing attitude and propensity to binge once I get going…. I passed! I realise weight loss may be slow on this kind of approach but mental health is definitely more important J Babysteps.

My workouts have improved too. I trained shoulders yesterday, they feel like I have been wrestling and am all bruised …! I did DB shoulder press, side laterals and supersetted hammer strength rear laterals with front raises using a plate. Later in the week I will do military press and DB rear laterals (extra focus at the moment).

In other news, my sister and I went to see ‘Kick Ass’ on Friday night. I had no expectations but from the ad I had seen assumed it would be quite a ‘silly funny’ movie aimed at kids… um.. no! It was REALLY violent… so actually much better than I anticipated – haha!


Anonymous said...

Hi There!

If there is one thing i have learnt it's that my emotional wellbeing reflects my physical appearance. if i am kind to myself and love myself - i let go of the anger and my body responds accordingly.
I KNOW that post comp is terribly hard...not this bloody time! I am going to be KIND to my body and let it recover in a most healthy fashion. We are HARD on ourselves, there is no need to blame, we are responsible for ourselves. It's all about RESPECT for me...Respecting others and myself = happiness, vitality and health xx

Charlotte Orr said...

Hi Steph, I think slower weight loss is the way (weigh!) to go. Glad to hear you were happy with your eating over the weekend.

Mel said...

Hi Steph! Well done on week '12' and for getting back on the OSB train. I think you're right about the slow approach - yes mental health is definitely more important. I too am guilty of falling into the 'all or nothing' attitude. I think I may have to give the slow approach a go too. Yes it may take a little longer, but hopefully it will be easier to maintain in the end. Mel.
PS. I love the counting backwards idea too. :)

Hanni said...

Hey babe im proud of who you are, i know exactly what you are going through! except im a lil higher in the scales post comp then you and i know how this "number" can play stupid games with your head! Im learning to take each day as it comes and that at the end of the day its about being happy with who i am blah blah blah lol, everyone can tell you this and that but its only you that can realise and what to "snap out" of this mental attitude (easier said then done huh!) Here to support your goals babe MWAH xx

Michelle said...

I totally hear where your coming from with the headspace. Good work for being kind to yourself :)

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