I'm not stressing

Well I did get some answers healthwise today and although they were not the answers I desired at least I’m on the path to sorting out my hormonal imbalances and preventing further problems. You just can’t ignore health issues as they can tend to grow while you have your head in the sand. Unfortunately for me, I am and always have been most reluctant (scared shitless) to see doctors so just endeavoring to get to the bottom of things has been a huge challenge. The last thing I wanted was more referrals!

So I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself right now. Its funny how trivial things will make me want to give up, cry and dive headfirst into a bag of sugar but I can actually be quite strong in the midst of real problems. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t think stress is so much linked to my food issues as self esteem. Ie. when I feel good about myself, I WANT to eat well which is sooo much easier than eating well because you SHOULD. I’m looking for opportunities rather than excuses and am keen not to waste any more time. I just have to make sure that my all or nothing thinking doesn’t kick in and that its more a case of balance. I have eaten well all week and have just been invited to go to Sizzler for breakfast this weekend (remember how I love Sizzler and I love breakfast? Double threat hehe!) so I’ll be looking at this as my ‘cheat meal’ however, that does not give me permission to eat myself silly. Relax, enjoy, no guilt. Have a great weekend.

Some like it hot

I’m still a lazy blogger - tsk tsk!
I’ve been nice and motivated since last weekend’s INBA show in Brisbane. Ali and I went to cheer on Lisa whom he has coached over the last 20 weeks for the sportsmodel comp. She looked fantastic and placed third out of an impressive lineup of eleven - I couldn’t have been prouder of both of them for their dedication! While there I also had the pleasure of catching up with Chelle, Hanni, Selina, Shannon and Leisel. I wish I could have stayed longer, we could probably all chat for hours!

I’m slowly getting my confidence back in relation to trusting myself to consistently make the right choices and feeling good about food again. I’ve learnt that you have to respect food in the way that you respect yourself and your body and I’m learning to love it again.

We have foxtel and I’m a bit obsessed with the food channel – I could seriously watch cooking shows for hours. A co-worker gave me some fresh chillies from her garden today so I think dinner tonight will be HOT! I’ve been feeling a lot less tired lately as well which is a direct result of plenty of fresh REAL food. I don’t think you have to do much to clean foods to make them taste great but I do think you have to get creative in order to eat them every single day and not get cravings. It could be as simple as grating fresh ginger onto your fish before cooking it… yum!

As much as I love food and cooking I could never be a chef – do you watch Masterchef? Last night the 15 contestants helped one of the judges George relaunch his restaurant in Sydney. The stress and pressure in a commercial kitchen seems incredible but working under these conditions and succeeding left them all (even the losing team) with such pride and sense of achievement. I know you have to get uncomfortable and push yourself in order to grow but I can’t imagine surviving that stress every day – you’d have to be a bit of an adrenaline junky!

In other news, I’ve finally been a little more proactive in chasing down a diagnosis for my ongoing amenorrhea (seeing as how it has been MIA since June 2008 now). I have finally found a good doctor, taken another series of blood tests and ultrasounds and have an appt tomorrow to hopefully get some answers and/or at least rule out PCOS. As tempted as I was by the INBA show, its quite illogical for me to think of competing again until I get my mind and body back in the right place. Time to put my health first.

Chocoholics anonymous

I finally succumbed to the avalanche of media interest in Jessica Watson today, and of course as impressive as her solo sailing journey has been, I must say the thing that stood out in my mind from the article in the courier mail was that she ate 576 chocolate bars in the 7 months she was at sea…. Did she foresee requiring this amount of chocolate prior to the trip or did she do a stock take and count the empty wrappers afterward? LOL!

Another online article reported that she consumed:

32 cans of spam, 64 cans of tuna, 32 cans of pineapple, 576 chocolate bars and 290 freeze dried ready meals.

High on her list of priorities now on dry land were eating some fresh fruit and…. Eating a chocolate bar that hasn’t been melted and then re-set!

I seriously hope she was also taking a good multi-vitamin!

Are you a chocoholic or do you know one? I definitely think the more you have, the more you crave it.

I recall I used to be a chocolate fiend in my uni days – although at worst I would buy perhaps two or three bars per week to get me through 2 hour law lectures (that’s a max of 84 in 7 months!) Snickers, Twix or KitKat Crunchy’s were my faves. These days I’m happy getting a somewhat regular chocolate fix from the sprinkles on top of cappuccinos and when I do eat chocolate I prefer dark chocolate with nuts – oh no, I think my tastebuds are growing up!

Sugar, free food and being happy

I haven’t had much to say lately because a) it seems as though my effort to lose weight has resulted in me being able to stabilize it….. which I’ve decided is much better than trying to maintain and gaining weight! b) I don’t think my life is very exciting right now but I’ve decided – screw it – im going to blog about random crap if I feel like it and stop worrying whether it is boring/has a point – haha! Sure most of it might be to do with food, but that’s ok, I’ve realized I’m not the only one who is a little obsessed with it!

I love good food and coffee and after a little rebound from strict dieting for so long I am re-learning to enjoy what I like in moderation. I’ve decided to be happy and put an end to self imposed misery and if you read the link in my last post – my attitude has been purely narcissistic! Skwigg put it beautifully in this post about focusing on behaviours rather than numbers. If I am happy, I will make good choices, enjoy training and my weight will settle naturally.

So, back to food ;P I work in the city and instead of browsing around at clothes like other normal girls, I went to check out the newly refurbished Coles that people are raving about. I even served myself when I bought a pkt of Nescafe cappuccino sachets. I figured I would save some money and sugar/milk by drinking them instead of buying cappuccino’s – addict!!

On my way back to work I got handed a free sample of Sultana Bran ‘crunch’. I’m such a sucker for free stuff and I used to LOVE Sultana Bran in high school But I checked the label and would you believe its 28% sugar!!? A whopping 12.8g per measly 45g serve. Think I’ll stick to my oats, where I can make 30g go a long way :)

Gone is the fat free craze and the focus is well and truly on sugar, keeping your blood sugar and insulin levels stable and using the energy from carbohydrates more wisely. Life is a lot simpler when you eat mostly unprocessed food I think, and don't have to worry about reading food labels and added sugar. At first I thought that artificial sweetener was a god send but lately I have made an effort to cut back on the amount of Splenda I’ve been using on my oats and on natural yoghurt and have noticed that when its not super sweet how much more satisfying it is, ie you don’t feel like you could immediately eat another bowl! Perhaps there is some truth to those theories that artificial sweetener can cause you to overeat (if you are not conscious and careful!)

Do you agree that you can ‘decide to be happy’? I know a lot of people who are chasing happiness or will be happy when they lose x kg, get a new job etc …. Why wait? We all have a lot to be grateful for and happy about RIGHT NOW.

Interesting read

http://www.stumptuous.com/rant-57-may-2010-whats-eating-you

I love a good rant